Intentions
by Sugeatarc
Summary: Trying to connect with Katara during "The Southern Raiders" leads Zuko places he doesn't really want to go.


Intentions

Despite all the ghosts and bad memories that lingered in the Western Air Temple, Zuko found that he had come to prefer its solid walls to the open air. Solid walls kept out the chilly rain and wind, and kept in….other things.

He headed for Sokka's tent, determined to forget the scathing contempt of one Southern Water Tribe member in the welcome company of another. Sokka's door was shielded from the sharp sea breeze by a large boulder; as he passed it, Zuko collided with the Kyoshi Island girl they'd acquired during the raid on the Boiling Rock prison.

Zuko wasn't really surprised to see Suki there. Disappointed, yes. Surprised, no. Sokka had been in a state of almost delirious sexual frustration ever since Suki had joined them, but had been unable to do much more than sneak a quick kiss now and then under the watchful eye of his father. But Hakoda was off in their captured airship now, and no one was watching any more.

Except Zuko. But he got the feeling he didn't exactly count at the moment.

Suki seemed far more surprised to find Zuko there than he was to see her, which meant there were some things Sokka hadn't seen fit to confide to her. She didn't seem interested in standing up for her rights to Sokka's company, though. She stammered something ridiculous about not actually wanting to be there to have sex with the water tribe warrior, which Zuko would have found amusing if he weren't in a truly foul mood at the moment. Who exactly did she think she was fooling? Of course she wanted to have sex with Sokka. Everyone wanted to have sex with Sokka. Except perhaps Katara. Yet another way in which Katara's judgment was faulty, in Zuko's opinion.

He shrugged to himself and pushed his way into the tent.

His jaw dropped.

Sokka had turned the place into a boudoir fit for a pleasure companion. And he was lolling there with a rose in his teeth, with a look on his face that couldn't possibly get any come-hitherier

After the initial shock, Zuko's first outraged thought was – you never did this for me, you snakerat!

He couldn't hold onto the anger, though. Not after Soka swallowed the rose, thorns and all, forcing Zuko to work very, very hard to keep from bursting out laughing. He made himself keep a stern, businesslike face at he dropped unceremoniously down onto the rug in front of Sokka. He didn't bother to ask permission first – it had been quite a while now since he'd had to do that.

Sokka, looking guilty, made no mention of Zuko's feat of _romancis interruptus_, not even an irritated, "Couldn't you wait your turn?" sort of glare. That was a depressing reminder that Sokka was quite, quite serious about Suki. Zuko tried not to dwell on that as he outlined his Katara problem. Sokka, bless him, recovered from what must have been a monstrously unwelcome cockblocking and was willing, if not actually glad, to discuss his sister's issues. He was bereft of suggestions for what to do, however, and clearly wanted Zuko to depart post haste. Zuko gave up, resolving to do something painful with the roses to Sokka later for the abrupt dismissal, and left. Just for personal satisfaction, though, he stopped only a few feet from the tent flap and waited silently. As predictable as the sunrise, Sokka stuck his head out to call for his lady love – only to encounter Zuko's chilly gaze and snap his head back inside, just like a dogturtle pulling back into its shell. It was another piece of Sokka clownishness that would have made Zuko smile on a better day.

He stalked over to Katara's tent and stood there looking at the entrance. He could hear soft sounds from inside, indicating the waterbender was still awake. He cleared his throat loudly. The sounds stopped. He cleared his throat again with a theatrical flourish. A corner of the tent flap twitched, then dropped back into place. The sounds resumed, much louder this time. Zuko sighed and planted his butt on a rock by the door, prepared to wait all night if necessary.

The unrealistically loud housekeeping sounds from the tent stopped after a while, and silence took their place. Zuko waited for the full moon to climb a bit higher in the sky, then slid silently up to the tent and tweaked back the flap. He expected to get a face full of icicles, but Katara was curled up in her sleeprugs, breathing evenly. Zuko was somewhat disturbed to see that even in sleep her face held traces of the bitter frown she had been freezing him with all day. He backed away and let the tent flap fall, returning to his stony seat with a frustrated sigh.

He had sat there for perhaps an hour, most of the time spent wondering just what exactly he was trying prove, when the rock under him gave a shrug and dumped him to the grass. He rolled gracefully out of the fall and up to his feet, reflexively coming into firebending stance, despite the fact that he knew perfectly well there was no real danger here. "Toph, we've already established that you are very much Sokka's superior in sneak attacks," he told the empty night.

Toph stepped out from behind a boulder and grinned at him. "I'm very much Sokka's superior in pretty much everything," she asserted with the natural, unconscious arrogance of the genuinely gifted.

"Pretty much," he agreed. "Can I sit back down now, or are we sparring?"

"Nah. Sitting." She plopped herself down on the grass and started cleaning her toes.

"Glad to hear that." Zuko returned to his stone seat, finding it smoother and a lot more comfortable than it had been just a moment ago. He patted it. "Thanks."

"No problem. I know your royal rear is too pampered by soft pillows to deal with honest rock."

"Formally royal." The teasing was warm, expected, and welcome. He had no idea why, but aside from Aang, Toph was the only member of the group who seemed to have some understanding of him. After yet another day of enduring Katara's scorn, Toph's presence was as welcome as a ray of sun striking through storm clouds.

"You're still soft, Sparky. Or you wouldn't let the Sugar Queen get on your case – or your nerves – like that. Look at me – she knows better than to pull that attitude with me." Toph poked between her middle toes with a grimy fingernail. "You just have to let her know you won't stand for it." Another poke. "I'll admit, it took several tries. Did I ever tell you that after Aang went through an amazing amount of crap to get me as his teacher, she managed to chase me off because she didn't approve of my housekeeping?"

Zuko stared. "You're not serious."

"Sure am. Ask any of the others. She never did apologize for it either. So I wouldn't wait for one if I were you. You just sort of have to take Katara as she is."

"But I don't understand the way she is. I mean, I know I've got a lot to make up for. More than you probably know about since you weren't there. And I'm trying as hard as I know how. But it's like…pouring water on a turtleduck's back. It just slides off, no matter what."

"Katara holds grudges. Everyone knows that." Her voice softened a little. "You shouldn't let her get to you like this. The rest of us know you're okay now. Katara will figure it out. Eventually."

"That's the problem." Zuko glared at the waterbender's tent. "We don't have time for this. We just don't. We have to be able to fight together, to trust each other, to know we all have each other's backs. I've been trained for the military life since I was too young to remember, and I know that a squad that doesn't stick together doesn't survive. Ever. Why do you think I went along to the Boiling Rock with Sokka on that suicidal mission?" He didn't mention his other reasons for going along. Toph was too young for that information.

"I thought you went with him so the two of you could have some time alone together." She chortled. "If you know what I mean."

All right, perhaps she wasn't too young. He still had a hard time reconciling Toph's size and age with her much-too-wise-for-her-years mind. "I'm not going to dignify that. But regardless, it worked. I know Sokka and I can fight side by side or back to back now, without worry. He won't hesitate to help if I need it. And I won't hesitate to help him." He remember the gripping hands – Sokka reaching out, his own reaching, finding, holding, and then the same thing in return. "I just don't know about Katara. She doesn't trust me. And so I can't really afford to trust her."

"Sweetness wouldn't desert you in a fight," Toph insisted, although she didn't sound completely sure of herself, which did not make Zuko feel any better. "She knows Aang needs you."

"He won't need me for much longer. He's an amazingly fast learner. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the Avatar has a gift for firebending."

Toph grunted. "Hah. You should have tried teaching him earthbending. I nearly pulled all my hair out. And I have a LOT of hair." She aimed a gobbet of spit at her toes and went back to tending to them. Zuko couldn't help the mixed expression of disgust and amusement that passed over his face. He was glad she couldn't see it. "Anyway, I think by this point Aang needs you as a friend as much…maybe more…than he needs you as a teacher."

"...Maybe." And how odd it felt, to consider that what Toph said might actually be true. "If you'd told me it would be like this a year ago – oh, ashes, even six MONTHS ago – I'd have been sure you were crazy."

"See? Things can change a lot in a short time. In six months you and Sugar Queen will be best buds, I'm sure." Toph switched to her left foot and began her cleaning ritual. "Okay, maybe that's a bit much to expect. But at least she won't be snarling at you for having the nerve to save her life. She might even be able to say 'Thanks!' by then, if you're lucky!"

And unwelcome chill struck deep into Zuko's body. "We don't have six months. There has to be some way to fix this, something quick…I need to get her off alone," he muttered, wondering what excuse he could possibly find. "Just the two of us, so we can get it sorted out, and she can get it out of her system. Even if she winds up killing me." He wondered if he was joking about that last part.

"She'll have to trust you BEFORE you'll be able to do that," Toph pointed out. "I think that's what's called a 'dilemma'. Supposedly it's an animal with big horns."

"There must be something she cares about enough to get past that."

"Aside from Aang?"

"Not Aang. I'm not going to endanger Aang over this."

"Don't know if I can help you then. He's the only thing I know about that she gets completely wound up over. Well, maybe her Dad, too, sometimes."

"I already tried saving her Dad. It seems to have actually made things worse. Which I REALLY don't get. I've saved her, her brother, and her father, and she just gets madder and madder!" He threw up his hands in frustration, his fingers flickering with surly orange flame. "And there's nothing I can do for her about her Mom – I was talking to Sokka about that earlier tonight. I've got some idea where the group responsible for the raid is stationed, but what good is that?"

"There's always revenge," Toph said, grinning.

Zuko stared at her.

Since Toph couldn't see his expression, the long silence held until the earthbender became uneasy. "Uh, Sparky – are you okay? Your heart's being kind of loud and fast. What's up?"

"It might work," he muttered, sounding desperately unhappy. "From me, she might believe it."

"WHAT might work?" Toph sat up, abandoning her pedicure.

"Revenge. For her mother's death. If I suggest it….she thinks I'm evil. She'd believe me. Maybe enough to go off alone with me to accomplish it."

"But you don't do crap like that any more!"

"No. But that's not what Katara thinks."

"Who cares what Sugar Queen thinks? Are you going back to being the ass you used to be just to try and reach out to Katara? That's nuts, Sparky!"

"Toph, it's not like I want to revisit that side of myself, believe me! But it's what she thinks is the real me. So if the only way I can connect with her is through rage, despair, and hate…." He swallowed hard, and then his face and voice firmed. Aang would have instantly recognized his new expression of dangerous determination. "If that's what it takes, then I'll go back into that. Stopping my father matters more than…well, more than anything. That's all there is to it."

"Oh, Sparky." Toph sounded miserable. He reached out and snagged her, drew her in for a hug. She cuddled in and put her head on his shoulder. They stayed that way for a few minutes, sharing welcome warmth on an night of unexpected soul-cold. When Toph spoke up her voice was resigned. "I think that'll probably work. But you shouldn't have to do it. You just shouldn't. I'm going to hate knowing you like that, I know it. I never have, before. I never wanted to. Promise me…you won't stay that way?" For once she sounded her age.

"I won't. Not as long as I have you. And Aang. And even Sokka."

"Okay. It's a deal then. If you come back crazy after spending too much time alone with our crazy Sugar Queen, I get to be the one to knock some sense back into you. Right? RIGHT?"

"Only you. I promise."

"All right then." Toph sighed. "I hope it works. I hope it's worth it."

"I hope so too." Zuko hugged her a little tighter. She returned the squeeze with those startlingly strong little arms of hers.

Unexpectedly, she pulled away. He let her. Toph sat up straight. "Times like this I wish I was older," she said solemnly.

"Me too. Kids your age shouldn't have to fight wars."

She shook her head. "That's not what I meant." In the light of the full moon, Zuko noticed with surprise that her cheeks had gone pink. "I mean, I was missing Sokka-time too tonight. That's why I was out wandering around instead of sleeping. I can hear everything that happens in camp, you know."

"Oh. That must be…difficult."

Toph shrugged. "I'm used to it. I mean, my parents and all. But this is tougher. Sokka and Suki…They're together. Really together. Unless something terrible happens, they're going to make a life together. So I wish I was older. Because I never really had a chance. Because I'm a kid."

Comforting a little sister was not something Zuko had any experience with – Azula would have sneered at any such attempt. He tried anyway. "You won't always be a kid, Toph. You'll find someone."

She smiled a little sadly. "That's the trouble. I've already found someone. But he's taken. Then someone else. And he's taken too. And…well…a third. Who is also taken." She bounced up, and before he could think how to react, she brushed his unscarred cheek with her lips. "Good night, Sparky. Stay warm." And with that, she was gone into the darkness.

Zuko stayed there the whole night, thinking of men, and women, and children. And war.


End file.
